How i almost set my house on fire

I could have set my house on fire yesterday. I wanted to prepare dinner for myself (noodles and fried egg). Since noon I had been seeing myself eating noodles as dinner and It was sweet ehn, so I was very highly excited when mum called me to come make my food as she was done making hers.

Ehn! As much as I was excited about the noodles (here’s the thing: mum brought a new type of noodles - Honeywell – to the house and when I tried the onion chicken flavour it was superb, so I had the intentions of trying out the pure chicken flavour so I could decide if I wanted to abandon indomie noodles) I was a little bit reluctant to stand up cause I was watching a movie titled Suits and was totally loving it.
Well sha I did stand up and went to the kitchen.

GHEN GHEN

I lit the gas, placed a frying pan on the gas, poured in oil to hit, broke, spiced and whisk my egg then I went to the sitting room to ask mum where the canton of noodles was. She couldn't remember exactly where it was so she directed me somewhere to check for it.

How our thought pattern affects our lives.

Once upon a time my mind was filled with a lot of negative thoughts. I felt everyone around me was insensitive and uncaring. I was miserable and felt really lonely.
Somehow my thoughts graduated from being one of loneliness to anger. I picked at everything and barked every opportunity I had. This drove the people around me further away. And the more the distance between us, the angrier I got. I was angry at my parents, siblings and even God.
My moods swung every 30seconds or even less, depression was the 'order' of the day. Truth be told, I can't remember how or when this thoughts of loneliness began, I just knew at one point that, my feelings had become gloomy and I had mostly bad foreboding thoughts. *sigh*

I believe ...

I believe-
That we don't have to change friends if we
understand that friends change.
I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them.
I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe-
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe-
That life is a process and what we do today would determine who we are tomorrow.

My Deepest Fear ...

What's your deepest fear?
I'm scared of loneliness. I'm scared I'd have no one who cares around, I'm scared everybody would leave at the end of the day. I'm scared the one's I love most would hurt and abandon me, maybe I'd stop being good enough.
I'm scared of being a failure. I'm scared I'd disappoint my mum. I'm scared I won't be as great as everyone thinks, I'm scared the potentials we all see in me is just a fallacy. I'm scared I'd marry the wrong man. I'm scared I'd be a lousy mum, I'm scared I won't be able to protect and provide for my kids as I should.
I'm scared I'd walk out on God, maybe I'd just lose faith in God one day and become a mess, I'm scared God would get worn out from a life time of endowing me with grace and mercy, maybe he'd give up on me.