Getting over a Break up| *Your First love?*

Breakups can be very rough and tough...
The loss of a relationship can bring on intense heartache, Physical, emotional as well as mental stress especially if its a first love!

Uhhhhm! Sigh!

Nothing is ever quite as painful as getting over your first love; its more like a shattered dream. You thought you'd spend the rest of your lives together. You made plans for the future. You have loads of jokes and memories of the time you spent together. Now that it's over, you're scared that you'll never find anyone to ever replace them, or maybe you're just afraid that you won't ever be as happy with someone else.

There are no miracle cures to getting over your first love but giving it TIME and Focusing on YOUR Needs.
The first step though, is accepting the fact that the relationship is over and start "LETTING GO'.
Yes!! Only when you've accepted this will all other steps fall in... Are you ready to let go? If yes cool. If no? So not cool (he he).

Its like loving someone and you are not loved back. You know the feeling of loving someone ?_???? you he/she doesn't love you well enough?

At first it will hurt so much that you won't be able to even start to get over this person, and you may even harbour a deep belief that you two will eventually get back together. This internal hoping and avoidance may last for quite a while but eventually you will realize that you actually don't want to get back with this person.
After realising this, you can move easily onto the next steps.

The ability to keep a cool distance will do as well, I mean try to communicate less with the person, because keeping in touch will only end up bringing back the past memories, which is so not cool and won't help you.
Remember that out of sight,out of mind works!

Oh yes! The TRAUMA of breaking up HEALS WITH TIME. Its a GRADUAL process.
Many a time, we still get too feel a little bit shaky, wanting to regret our actions on letting go and we tend to remember only what we loved about our ex, and the happy times we had with them. Yet this is one-sided because we fail to recognise all the disappointment, anger, and let downs that became a major force of the splitting up.

Don't belittle the hurtful things by denying them! They are as much a part of what formed your relationship as all those good times.
If your ex cheated on you, stop justifying it, and realize you can find someone who loves you and who won't be unfaithful.
Use the experience to learn how to spot unfaithful types and avoid hooking up with them in future.

Realize that just because the relationship is over, it doesn't mean that you'll never find love again.

Ask your friends, your parents, how they got over their first loves. Many people will remember how hard it was to get over them but will also admit that they found greater loves in their lifetime.
Don't try to get through this alone; Your friends are very important (I mean friends with high sense of reasoning).They will help you survive by listening to you and offering comfort, support and sometimes good advice. Its good to listen to others hear what they have to say. Be open and honest about how you feel. You don't have to pretend. Different people react differently to breakups, and you're entitled to feel emotionless as much as overly emotional. Talk to people instead of just holding it in and being moody, down or anxious. Other people can support you if they actually know what is going on.

Remember that there are other people who care. Even if it doesn't always feel that way, there are. There are people around you who understand, and will help.

Do anything you can to make yourself feel desirable and confident again.
Have that mentality of You being important, desirable and unique! Remember all the times she or he told you that you are the most handsome/beautiful person in the universe and convince yourself that it is indeed true, and that someone else will appreciate you the way he or she once did.

Endure the pain and loneliness bravely. Try retaining your pride and hold your head up, there's nothing better than that especially when the person involve are not showing any signs of wanting you back.

Always remember that you're better off without him or her because someone who you thought loved you but leaves isn't worth your tears or pain.
"Never cry for someone that will never cry for you."

With maturity, your capacity to love another human being grows.
Be grateful for the experience of your first love.
Recognise that you have the power of choice in your life.
You can choose to be held back by this loss or you can choose to learn from it and move on to a wiser, more compassionate person.

No relationship is ever a mistake if you can get something out of it, such as learning something new about yourself.
In a nutshell all am saying is: "Do not be afraid to love again; Just because your first love did not work does not mean others wouldn't".
"Recognise that they're only your FIRST love. There will be, without a doubt, seconds/thirds/other loves out there waiting for you and your beautiful self!".

In all of these, Jesus is always available to give us hope. Reading the Holy Book sure helps, cause its one of the oldest books with the latest news in building up our lives!

This amazing article was written out of experience by Racheal Unutame.