I Finally Realized What Happiness Means To Me.

Happiness to me is Love.

— Happiness to me is being surrounded by love. Love from family, those with which blood ties are inconsequential as they just care, pray and look out for me, and make me eat. Love from friends, who do not care how long ago it is that we spoke, or how much different we are in our personalities now, or how much different the places we are in our lives are. Friends that just care and love me for how I am.

— Happiness to me is being in a romantic relationship with someone I absolutely adore, someone who makes me feel safe and comforted by just the mere thoughts of him, someone with whom I find talking to easy, whom I share my burdens, victories, confusion, clarity with, in its raw form, someone who makes me strive to be a better person

— Happiness to me is doing what I love. Happiness to me is teaching, impacting, seeing people learn new things that they can apply to their lives, businesses, and career from me. Happiness to me is speaking, having the opportunities to pour out the little I know. Happiness to me is running digital marketing campaigns and providing solutions/strategies that help businesses achieve their goals. Happiness to me is teaching!!!

Happiness is to me is Wealth.

— Happiness to me is having enough money to spoil my nuclear family, - so my parents have no reason to hustle and my brother has in excess - and extended family, those who have taken me as theirs.

—Happiness to me is having enough money to give and give and give — to my churches, campus fellowship, to charity organizations, to my friends and those less privileged

— Happiness to me is Time! Having/creating enough time to spend with loved ones and time to rest - to sleep.

and then also, Happiness is to me is Fun. Happiness to me is hanging out with close friends, talking, and looking for trouble. I am sha very indoorsy.

Happiness to me is knowing what happiness means to me and understanding that even when I do not have all those things that make me happy, I can still be happy by just deciding to be happy. Happiness is to me is deciding that still, while in this journey — before boo and wealth comes — I will be happy.

What is Happiness to You?

22 Lessons I Learned this Year and my Birthday Wishlist

Hey Guys,

Thanks for reading the last post - the one about my Lagos experience so far. It has got to be my most engaging post on this blog yet (not most read though), with over 50 cumulative comments so far - 17 on the blog, 16 comments on LinkedIn, a few on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram and oh a couple of emails too. I especially appreciate Alfred's email - he sent me links to download all the SLC messages (I'm still jumping for joy) and then, I got one email inviting me to talk on security in Lagos. Well, I'm still figuring out that one (:D).

All this is to say; Thanks for reading. I appreciate. To think that subsequent to that post, I hadn't written for this blog since February. Again! Thanks for reading and engaging.

The past week was super too, in ways I can't begin to articulate (or in this case, write) but I'm grateful to God. Like for real.

So It's my birthday is in a few weeks, and as it is my tradition every year for the last couple of years, I write a birthday post. One time it was 65 things about me, the next year, it was a very long birthday wishlist, last year, it was all gratitude and this year, I'm doing a little mix.

In this post, I'd be writing the top 22 things I learned in my 21st year (some of the lessons would be about me), and to wrap it up, I'd drop the top 7 things I want as birthday gifts. I'm not exactly expecting it from anyone actually, it's more of a wishlist for myself (but eh, if body sweet you... Biko buy am for me :D, or send the money to my account and lemme buy it myself :D)

Let's dive in, shall we? Gracias!

What I learned/re-learned about life and me this year.

As you grow older, it's okay not to have everything figured out. As Long as you keep trusting God, You'd be fine.

1. A Perfect Family is possible (well, not perfect-perfect, but perfect). With God at the center, everything is possible. Even though more and more dysfunctional families are springing up each day. Even though some men are still not worthy fathers, they are a few who are exceptions. and even though, we can't do anything about the families we were born into, we can definitely do something about the families we create. 1b. I have a mild case of daddy issues.
2. 80/20 principle. Do the most important 20% first for all duties/responsibilities. This is especially for multitaskers. Sometimes, it's hard to effectively juggle multiple jobs and excel or make an impact at all of them, but you can succeed if you learn to stick with the 80/20 principle. There is always the 20% of work that is the most important and valuable, do those ones FIRST for all tasks, then do the other 80% next. Learn to prioritize - IMPORTANT over just Urgent. Delegate when you can, if you can.
3. New challenges and opportunities excite me but also I get bored very EASILY. Scary! and I get easily distracted too. Also, I'm most productive in the early hours of the day, from 3am to around 1pm. I used to think I was nocturnal, but I guess having a 9-5 changed that a bit.
4. Impact takes a great deal more than just doing your job. Making a difference requires HEART, not just sweat. This year, I also learned that when my heart isn't somewhere, I can't work. I'm not the kind of person who works out of obligation, I'm not duty bound, but if I love a task or a role, I'd kill it.
5. Relationships are KEY. It's important not to burn bridges. People are key to where you are going and who you would become. It's important not to become dependent but then, understand that no one is an island and your next opportunity might come as a result of the person you knew as a child. So give your time and sweat to relationships, invest in healthy relationships, be the good guy.
6. Your Journey is YOURS. Own it, love it!
7. Social Media is Great but if you are not careful, you could become cluttered, unnecessarily vain, under pressure to impress etc. My advice? do not become your social media instead let social media become you. Sounds like the same thing but they are different.
8. Grow your community. Your inner circle - harness them, love them, make them blossom but also, your outer circle: your mentors and role models - Follow them deliberately, and learn.
9. With God, even when your life is spinning. It wouldn't be out of control but in control. In his control. Even when you are in the dip, know that God has his hands on you and he'd lift you out when he is ready. Understand that sometimes, you have to hit rock bottom to rebuild. So enjoy every part of the process because hey! you can't cheat the process. It's never easy, it's never all fun but it is in the process that you become.
10. Work Culture and work environment matter a lot (to me). It is important that more than anything employers employ people not just because of skill or competence but also because they fit your culture. Creating the right environment for your workers to thrive, be themselves, have fun and be friends would give you results. 
11. Money is important to me, but so is love and much more, is God. This is probably one of my most profound discoveries this year. Disclaimer: When I say money is important to me, I'm not talking about it in relation to other people. I really don't care how much a person has, but I mean it, in relation to myself. Making Money for myself is very important to me, but so is love and much more is GOD.
12. I love ART. Oh God, I love ART. 
13. When my heart is not somewhere, it is just not there and when it is. It is! When my heart is for someone, it just is.
14. Everybody has a story. Everyone has their own issues. Everyone is dealing with something. No one is perfect. So never judge someone until you know their story, and even when you do know the story, shut up!
15. Love Conquers All. When God got you, he got you! He'd never let me be, he'd never let me go. His love? His Spirit? Damn!
16. Life is not always a bed of roses. There'd be almosts, there'd outright rejections but there'd also be victories. Enjoy each phase & each test, learn lessons, get stronger and Keep the faith! Know this! As long as the sun rises, you'd be fine!
17. Run, Fight and no matter how hard it is or how bleak it looks... Do not grow weary! DO NOT SETTLE. Oh, my! Don't settle. No matter what, do not settle for less than you deserve in any relationship, in your career, in life. Settling is worst than growing weary.
18. Do not FIT in. Even when it's just you. Even when you want to. Even in the seemingly little things. People would surely respect you more when you stay true to yourself and your principles. See, it doesn't have to make sense to anybody, it doesn't have to be a big deal, once it's not you, do not give in to pressure. Do not fit in.
19. Celebrate little victories. The ones that happen inside of you, the personal milestones. Celebrate them. Learn to Celebrate yourself and the people around you. Celebrate for and with your friends, partners. Just Celebrate. Learn to appreciate people, especially your loved ones.
20. Buying stuff for myself makes me incredibly happy. It's therapeutic. So I have decided to not become extravagant but to buy myself a little something every now and again. Just because, I work hard and I deserve it.
21. Somehow, I have learned to love. Okay! That's wrong, the correct thing is I have learned to say I love you. Telling people I love them and feel it too, used to be an issue for me, but quite recently, I realized that it has become easier. I am still incredibly sensitive and yet, not open about my feelings, but yea ...
22. "We cannot tap into that power and hang on to excuses at the same time. Your heart, mind, and hands must be free to lay hold of all that is ahead of you. Understanding the psychology of your excuses is pivotal in having permanent victory over them. So, my question to you is: When did you learn to give up on yourself? " - Sarah Jakes Roberts.

I still have more to write, but let's stick to this 22, at least for now.

.. and Now! What do I want for my birthday (which is October 8th, in case you are wondering :D)
This Year, I want just 7 things. Lol! I said just. Here they are, in order of priority.

• A Laptop because mine is currently acting up and I just can't afford to be learning patience with a PC. There are other things in life to teach me that. And preferably a Macbook. Why? because it is high time :D. This macbook
• Sneakers because I love Sneaks (crying) and right now, I want this particular three (:D) in this order: 1. Nike Air Huarache 2. Keexs Slip On 3. Sports shoes. (I wear Size 39/40 or UK size 6/6.5)
• A Backpack just because I want a new black small one. Maybe this?
• Books: Novels actually - Francine Rivers Novels (aside Redeeming Love, Bridge to Heaven and Lineage of Grace), or Marketing and Business Books :D or Sinners in the hands of a loving God by Brian Zahnd or any book by Max Lucado.
• A Leather black very fine Journal
• Cakes. Unfortunately, I don't like Red velvet or Chocolate cakes. Just get me plain ol' Vanilla - Soft, Fluffy, Sweet, Butter icing :D.
• A lot of Love

If you read to this point (that's over 1600 words), mehn! You are AWESOME and I appreciate you honestly. Honestly.

Leave a comment, would you? Share the lessons you have learned this year with me, or your favorite of my lessons or say an early birthday greeting or preferably, ask for my account number (I'd really send it to you. :D)

PS: Lets hook up on Twitter or Instagram @peaceitimi

My NYSC Orientation Camp Experience

January 20th, 2017: Four Missed calls.

I had been in my sitting room while my phone was on my bed. Apparently, Joyce had been trying to call me for awhile now but I wasn't picking. I picked up my phone and saw a text 'Where were you posted to'.

'OMG!' I thought to myself. 'Posting is out.'  In that moment, I started shaking, my heart was beating, so I called Mudia to hear from him first.

'Hey you, where dem post you go'.
'Sokoto.
...and I didn't choose it o' he replied.

'Damn! Wow! Now I'm really scared.
Oya stay on the phone, I'm opening NYSC portal now'. I said

A few Seconds later, I was breathing a sigh of relief as I saw on my NYSC Page.

State of Deployment: OYO.

.... Four days later, Joyce escorted me to Iseyin park at Ibadan as I boarded a bus that would take me to the place I was to camp for the next three weeks.

Disclaimer: I can't tell you everything that happened, I'm just going to drop my highlights.

The Popular Concept of Open-Mindedness is Flawed

A few weeks ago, I got obsessed with the concept of open-mindedness and this was because I was in situations and conversations, that required me to be 'open minded', nonjudgemental and receptive to people's different truth. It was a great test but as I explored and trained my mind to be more open minded I began to wonder if there was a limit and if yes! What was it? I mean, to what extent does one stay open minded? Does open-mindedness require you take everything? Does it mean to have no filter? No boundaries? Does been nonjudgemental mean you 'fit in'? Where is the stopping point?

The more I thought about it, the more obsessed I became and so of cause, I kept thinking about it - and doing surveys - until I found for myself (Lord, Thank you for blessing me with an amazing analytical mind), an answer that felt right (Mind you! This is my opinion). With this answer, I concluded that the 'general perception of open-mindedness' is flawed. Here's why.

First of all, let's define open mindedness.
I asked a few friends what open mindedness meant to them and most of them responded by referring me to the Zen Story of a cup of Tea. And so it seemed that open-mindedness is likened to being open to new ideas/opinions, being open/receptive to learning, not necessarily having a filter but coming like a child, always open to learning, not holding your opinions and beliefs as truth but willing to accept the opinions and beliefs of others (if they argue well enough. Lol). This is correct, even Wikipedia says open-mindedness is receptiveness to new ideas.

This is also where I think the concept of open-mindedness is flawed because I believe there should be a limit of some sort to how receptive we are to new ideas and opinions due to how gullible and credulous the mind can be.

Yes! The mind is gullible, it easily bends to what it is continuously exposed to. What you watch, read and hear forms the content of your mind, produces your thought pattern and ultimately forms who you are (as a man thinketh, so he is). This is clearly seen in babies. They come into the world blank, open, and ready to take in, and oh! Take in they do. With No filter, no experience or lessons to look back to, they take in everything they see or hear.

Apostle Pauls advises in Rom 12:2 that we should constantly renew our mind so we can be transformed by God's word lest we would conform to the things of the world. It other words, Focus on God's word so your mind and thoughts do not get filled with the things of the world because once you pay much attention to those things, you would naturally conform. 

And so when we are advised to be receptive to new ideas and opinions, it is an advice that puts our minds at risk. Because if what we are being told makes sense, If it sounds logically correct and the other person knows how to put forth a great argument, then it would be easy to convince our minds to pick the new information and call it truth.

This bothered me a lot. I began to think, does this mean that I should stay closed minded? Do not partake conversations that are contradictory to what I currently know? {Yes! In business, being receptive to new creative ideas is highly advised (I advise it too)}, but when it comes to our belief systems ... That gave me a pause.  If I stay closed minded in an attempt to protect my mind (Prov 4:23 CEB - More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it), then how do I learn? How do I grow?.

This new set of questions, drove me into another round of obsession but as usual, if you diligently seek light (knowledge), you would find it (James 1:5 - If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking).

So Anyway, I realized that a great way to stay open-minded (receptive and willing to new ideas/opinions) is to develop a backdrop for your mind, a foundation that acts as a filter to which all new ideas have to pass through before they settle in. This way, while you still listen to and engage in open-minded conversations, read various kind of books et al, you would always have a filter that every information has to pass through and 'fight with'.

I recommend no other filter that the Word of God - (lol, for the atheists and non-believers, I guess you would have to figure out for yourself your core beliefs and stick with them otherwise, you'd be continually tossed back and forth, left and right by every new opinion you hear, by motivational/inspirational messages, and by logically sound ideas).

It's great to be open minded, that's the only way to learn, but you have got to protect your mind and ensure that it doesn't mess with your beliefs. It's important to love your truth, but to live your truth, you have to first discover what your truth is and always leaning to what you read in motivational or what not books wouldn't help.

Now, I understand that just because one is open-minded doesn't mean they accept any idea the minute it is presented to them. It's expedient that you always consider thoughtfully or evaluate new ideas and beliefs before you accept them as true but my issue is this: The more you are exposed to an idea or opinion, the more likely you are to accept it. The more eloquent the person selling the idea to you is and the more motivational/inspirational and logically sound an idea is, greatly increases the likelihood of its acceptability. Thus, without you consciously developing and using your filter, the more gullible (albeit subtle) you would become.

So in this coming year (2017), DELIBERATELY PROTECT YOUR MIND. GUARD YOUR BELIEFS. FIND YOUR TRUTH AND LIVE IT.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do share with me by commenting. Gracias!

How our Experiences and Information Influences our Perception and Understanding of life.

Have you ever had that eureka moment? You know that moment when suddenly things that were not clear to you once before, becomes really clear and then you realize that you fully understood the situation? I bet it has happened to most people here. I bet we all can, in some way relate to that ‘ah ah! this is it, yeah?’ feeling. I particularly remember one of my most formidable ‘ah ah, so this is it’ moment. It happened a few months ago. I was thinking about the period of my life in the university when my life was filled with so much drama because of my friends. They were a lot of happy times, lessons learnt and growth but also a lot of quarrels, disappointment, depression and hurts (You know how girls can be yea?). So anyway, a few months back, I began to play everything back,

right from the first day I met this particular friend to the day I decided I didn’t want to be friends anymore. I played back as many scenes as I could remember, I analysed each situation, my reaction, what could have been done differently and what really couldn’t be avoided. I spent weeks thinking and analyzing my feelings during that three years and in that period of reflection - unbiased reflection, I got to know myself a lot better and I realized one very shocking fact: that as smart as I and everyone thought I was, I was really naive and gullible at that time. You see that fact - that light, changed a lot of things but most importantly, it gave me a different view of my world as I began to see a couple of things very differently.

When I understood, things that looked complex and really weird, suddenly began to make sense.

You see, we mystify and call complex what we do not know or understand.

This is what I want to explain, the theory of complexity as it relates to how much we know and understand.

Life Lessons 2.0 | What Growing Up is Teaching Me.

Peace Itimi, Why haven't you written in so long?  

''I don't have a good enough reason but allow me to try please? Thanks.
...because so much has been going on in my inside. Because I'm growing up and figuring out who I want to be, what I want to do, & why I should bother doing the things I do. Because I have written so much in my thoughts but haven't been able to pen them now; specifically for this blog. Because.... I have been focused on something else. Bla Bla Bla. 

Truth is, I have been too Lazy and a bit distracted but mostly lazy. Forgive me alright? 

To further redeem myself, I have decided not to let another month pass without writing something down; So here it is.'''

I have been reading alot Gosh; {the feeling of light filling your heart and mind as a new revelation, information comes to you. Awesome!!!}. Learning is fun... No matter the subject, learning is fun. 

Anyway, Moving on, this post is a list of some life lessons I have deliberately learnt in last months. Some I picked from books, some from experiences, some I heard in my spirit, some came as a result of deep introspection, some well... 

Enjoy!

Lesson one: Your life is Your Own. 

I Just want to rant and be vulnerable; Just this once!

I'm scared...
I'm constantly living with fear. Fear of what you may ask? Well, I can’t even explain it. All I know is everyday I leave my house, I'm scared... Every time I begin to work, I'm scared...

I constantly feel my heart beat racing... I'm constantly working to prove those thoughts wrong... I'm just trying not to let fear stop me.

What if I tell you I'm still trying to figure myself out... What if I say, I don't know what I want to do with myself yet. What if I say, I worry too much?

Lol!

The People And The Things That Made 2015 My Best Year Yet.

Hi there! It’s been a long while... I apologize, I wasn’t consistent on here all year...and recently it got worse. I kept wanting to write but I just couldn’t, most articles got stuck in my head and I’m not one for forcing myself to write plus recently I have been dealing with me and wasn’t really settled enough to write something I felt was going to be good enough for you to read.. yes! I always like to ensure you have a good read. *winks*

Anyway, this post is about my 2015. It’s been my most eventful year YET, I have grown tremendously in all areas of my life and I had awesome and insightful experiences...  

What Does Christmas Mean To You?

What does Christmas mean to you?

The quality of a tree is seen in its fruits...but without the planting of a seed, they would be no tree and thus, no fruit... Christmas is the seed planting day...The day Jesus was born into the world, the start of the tree of life, a life free of sin and death and so, Christmas for me its a reminder of the gift of Salvation. The day Christ was born, the day The Word became flesh. The beginning of the end of the rule of sin. The physical expression of the Love of God to humanity.

What does Christmas mean to you?
To me, it means

What I want in a Man.

I want to crazy or intelligent long conversations - depending on the mood we are in.
I want to feel safe, I want to feel special.
I want to feel challenged and driven to do more, to be more everyday.
I want to get turned on by just seeing you.
I don't want drama, I don't normal.

#BLUEAfrica presents "Love and Social Media"

B.L.U.E.. acronym for Born Leaders Under Enlightenment, is a coalition of 4 African minds with a boiling desire to make an impact and modify the status Quo of mediocrity both within our selves and the environments within which we operate...
Considering the young age of the founders, they aim to create a long lasting impact on the lives of as many young people as possible, One thought at a time, by encouraging them to Dream more.. Believe more.. Aim Higher and  inadvertently achieve more.

Founded on the the 11th of October 2014.. #BlueAfrica is here to stay...

It Wasn't Easy....But God came through for me

Deep Sigh!

      I planned to write this on Friday night but I was too wired then and so I told myself I was going to write it on Saturday but Saturday, - yesterday - became one of the worst days of my life. Yesterday, a friend had multiple spasms (and when it started, we were alone in my room). The seizures were so bad that it was impossible for three boys and two girls to hold her down. I couldn't even pin down one of her legs because it became heavy.

I really don't getthe concept of dating!

When I was in J.s2 I had a crush on a bus conductor. He spoke well, looked soft, and was really cute plus he never collected money from me whenever I entered his bus. We never exchanged names or numbers just looks and smiles. After awhile, I stopped seeing him at the park. I hoped he had found something better to do, I hoped he had gone back to school as he looked / talked like someone who dropped out of school due to circumstances.
7years later (two weeks ago), I saw him again. We met inside a bus, he wasn't the conductor, he was the driver. He was still cute, his pidgin had blended and he didn't collect money from me. We still didn't exchange names or numbers, just smiles that carried memories but as I said thank you, the crushing ended.

THAT INTELLIGENCE IS A FACADE!!!

I have this theory. It states that no one is intelligent or innovative until he produces results.

There are people we know that have great ideas and great initiatives and people that know a lot about diverse subjects. This people sometimes intimidate us when they talk about what they know or that which they can do. These are people we all respect and call smart, Intelligent, Creative and Innovative, but I beg to differ.

2014 Thank Yous'.....

Daddy,
You saw me through this year, amidst all I had to deal with you kept me standing. I can't really say anything other than thank you. Daddy, thank you for been there when I wasn't, thanks for looking out for me when I was unfaithful but more I thank you for bringing me out of shit. Daddy, thank you for the successes and ideas you brought me this year. Thank you for the lessons I learnt, Thank you for the friendships that hit the rock, thank for the new friends I made.
Daddy, thank you for the responsibilities you have put on me, thank you for showing me how strong I am. Daddy, thank you for even though the first five months of this year was characterised with much struggle and pain as I had to deal with identity crisis, uncertainties in my convictions and a broken heart, you brought me out of the shit, cleaned me, taught me lessons of life and began to let my light shine.

I'm trying to find my Christmas Spirit, I Don't know where it ran to.

I don't feel Christmas. I KNOW tomorrow is Christmas but I don't feel it.

The yuletide season is pronounced everywhere - On Tv, on the Internet (just check Google's doodle, tweets and facebook walls), in public places (I was at the bank yesterday and too many people were on Christmas caps/hats) and in my house (Mum is receiving chickens and drinks anyhow - The woman keeps laughing, reciting in my ear that 'A good name is better than riches and It's not easy to be a senior citizen' as if na she first retire

My Marriage plans

I'm a girl with big dreams and great potentials. There is so much I want to achieve, so much I want to do and impact. At the point when it seemed like I had so much clustered in my mind and thus, no definite career plan, I took time out and wrote down everything I had in mind. Then, I made lists - a list for the things that came naturally and thus would need just a little brushing up here and there,  a list for those that needed professional trainings and or tutorials, and then the academic list. I then went further and set a timeline for each of them

RANDOM MUSINGS!

Its been forever. I'm sorry I haven't written since. I have a million excuses but none is reason enough - as no matter how busy we are we should always find time for that which we have committed to.

Well... Right now, I'm just going to talk - to gist... I don't have that one in mind so I would just write as it pops in my head.

WARNING! This could be a very confusing post. You may find rants, silly questions, non relating subjects in same paragraphs, random gist, or lessons.... So just try and go with flow but keep in mind, Its from a clustered confused highly sensible mind.
----------------------------------
I feel like I'm writing this post just to break the silence on here or maybe I feel writing - no matter the content - will bring writing back for me. I'm not sure if it's writer's block or the inability to focus my thoughts as I have a zillion and more things going on in my head, in my life -responsibilities -, and its all seeming to cluster or maybe its just that I have not made the effort to sit down, zoom out and zoom in or maybe because I have been trying to put stuffs in place in my responsibilities areas and so I dropped writing and settled for idea development and work progression and uhm table clearing (what am I saying?).

So, I have commitment issues...

At the moment, I feel like a mess, I'm down with the flu and it ain't funny. It's like the Catarrh isnt just blocking my nose but also my head, mind, and whole body. Trust me, this ain't a cool feeling, I feel paralysed,  I cant even talk well... okay, enough with my whining... *takes a deep breathe; now feels more relaxed*

I'm in the mood to rant... yea, I know I usually dont do that here but guys just humor me okay? Thank you.

I want to talk about relationships, commitments and all the likes...

I feel like I have commitment issues, you know the phobia to settle down (yea! I know I'm young and all but it's never too early prepare and set plans for the future right?).